Cause and Effect

Lashing and lashing viciously with the long, infragrant whip of mediocrity

That reaches all the way around the world

And tears at the skin of my back


Every mistake

Every misstep

Every selfish act

Every lie

Every ugly word and deed

Every empty victory

Every last thing taken not given


With each slap, my very face reverberates

With each punch I throw, I hear the cracking of my skull

Taste the blood through gritted teeth and soaking tongue

Feel the sting of horror-pain self-administered











Even in attempted goodness

Agenda rears its ugly head


I got it now!

I know now…

What makes this man want for nothing more

Than to destroy himself



I have come to hate me

I have come to belief every word and every gesture

That points out the absolute wrongness

At the centre of my being


Each and any good thought

All self-belief

Discarded like the very many empty bottles

That stains my life

And all I ever hoped to be


Overshadowed and cowered

Shriveled up like a weeklong-dead lamb in the cold desert night

Rotting away into the hard, dry, unforgiving frozen earth


Here, no more lies

Here it comes

The barbaric, cruel, merciless truth


I hate this man I am

I feel naught for him

He is a fake prince

A useless coin of bronze

A mere excuse for bad creation

Wasted and wasteful

Harmful and empty


Meaningless and corrupted


A flightless bird

Yet not even chicken nor ostrich

More falcon de-feathered by mother’s beak






A curse on man and land


A vile vapid vulture

A disease on all that is glorious and fine




An Anomaly



And yet

And yet

And yet


Before I die

Before I release this cussed

Temporal get-together of badly composed energies and cells


Before the much anticipated release

Before the time of joyous unfastening

Before the falling apart

Before the separation

Of bad earth

Bad water

Bad fire

And bad air


One good thing must realise

One positive result

One meaningful moment

One gentle word

One true gift

One miracle

One blessing




These foul notions

These disturbing, destructive demons

Fed and powered

By the one I loved the most

Put forward by the ones I cared for

Fueled by the anger and dismay of the people of my heart

These foul demons

Must not get too strong

Must not grow too powerful

Must not deliver the final blow


For life is precious

And as summer lightning

Flashes and is gone

Each breath is one breath closer

To the final sword of

No more free will


Weak, livid and distraught

Caught between reality and a mule

I struggle forth

Ever aware of the invisible elephant by my side

Chewing on nothing

Like one hand clapping

Plain and extraordinary

Profound and empty


I, dazed and lucid

Court extreme discomfort day and night

In her depths I found my sullen voice once more

Not a yelp

And not a whimper

Just pained,





Like so many heartaches

Rolled into one


One man

Alone and uncertain.

Scared and fearless


Every day another rough mountain

To scale or to lie down

There really, really



Is no choice.


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